i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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