Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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