This is not my ceiling
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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