yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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