The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
