Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
