Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
