please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
