She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
