I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
