Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
