I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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