somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I have tasted many bathrooms
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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