Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
