I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
