3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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