and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I believe in your delicious
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
