we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
