I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
