WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Randomize
