you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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