Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
