Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just want to make out with him forever
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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