I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
