i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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