Im at strip club and am horny
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
