At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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