the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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