i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
