so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I need moral support for this bender
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
