Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
