Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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