He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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