I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
