were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
