Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
