oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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