there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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