I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
barbara walters just said penis...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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