I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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