I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize
