It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
this hospital has no fireball
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
