sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
