His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
