I want to have your abortion
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
this is an emotional support booty call
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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