I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
