I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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