i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
