im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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