You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
