His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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