i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
